


A Heart of Xan

by generalinflictions



Category: lil xan
Genre: F/M, balesdney, dirty bapsloots looking for a good time hmu for details $6 an hour boys, fukc, hate to see us go, hszuk, love to watch us leave
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-19 09:12:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13120659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/generalinflictions/pseuds/generalinflictions
Summary: only true xan stans will know





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Lil Xan Saved Me](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/346545) by babycakes0517. 



“Sam… Sam…”

I groggily opened my eyes to the sound of someone calling my name. I rubbed my eyes and rolled over, not ready to get up. Unless my alarm was ringing, forget it.

I faintly registered the door to my room creak open. All of a sudden a huge weight leapt onto my body and I huffed in pain. Before I could think, a wet, slobbery tongue was licking my face.

“GUS!” I gasped, out of breath, and tried to push my dog off me. Gus just flopped on top of my legs with his own legs straight up in the air and gave me a satisfied look.

My mom’s voice wafted through the open door, “Samantha Marie Quinlan, WAKE UP! You’re gonna be late!”. I looked over at my clock and realized that I had to leave in 5 minutes if I wanted to get to school on time. 

Shit. I must have fell asleep looking at instagram memes again. I guess I never set the alarm last night. 

I tumbled out of bed and quickly threw my clothes on, grabbed my bag and ran downstairs. Will (my older brother) was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper. My mom was busy making coffee and eating a croissant from the pile of pastries we always have on the counter. I reached around my mom to grab a banana and accidently jostled her arm. “Sam slow down! You almost made me drop my croissant!” 

“Sorry mom!” I said, kissing her cheek and slamming out the door. I jumped in my car and pushed 65 driving to school, weaving around all the terrible Strong Island™ traffic. I swooped into homeroom just as the bell rang.

“Sam!!!” I turned towards the voice and saw my friend Lily waving to me across the room. She was sitting with her boyfriend Timmy and our friend Kat by the windows. I weaved through the desks to them. 

“Hey guys whats up?” I said as I slid into the chair next to Timmy. 

“Did you forget what today is?!” Lily said. 

“Uhhh..” I wracked my brain to think of what she could be talking about. “Wait, do we have that chem test? Because I did not study for that and I NEED to pass.”

“No no no, forget Chem, LIL XAN IS COMING TODAY!” Lily almost screamed. 

“Oh thank god” I sighed in relief, sinking into my chair. “You had me so worried for a second.” Now that she had mentioned Lil Xan, however, I noticed that almost everyone in the room looked overly excited for a normal school day. There was a charged mood in the air.

“Wait, who even is Lil Xan?” I asked. I tried to think if I’ve ever heard his music or seen a picture, but nothing came to mind. “Does he sing? and why is he at our school again?” 

“Lil Xan is only THE best rapper in the game!” Lily swooned. “His lyrics are so personal and meaningful. He’s coming today to talk about his past addiction to Xanax and how his music is all about anti-drug abuse. He’s so deep.” 

Kat scoffed from her seat. “Ya, like the poetry that is: ‘her pussy tastes like skittles’. That’s so deep, Lily”

“I’m allowed to be a fan of something, Stylinqueef” Lily threw back. 

“Lily, he’s literally disgusting. He looks like a 12 year old,”

“You KNOW i’m obSISTE with younger men,” Lily said. They continued to fight as the bell rang and and we all paraded into the gym for the assembly. Lily grabbed my hand and dragged me to the front row. Timmy and Kat trailed behind.

“Lily, no I really don’t want to be this close, can we please sit in the back.” 

“No! I want to be close enough that if he so much as moves I can suck his sweat out of the air.” I groaned in disgust as Lily laughed, and the four of us sat down at the front. 

Principal McShane came out and briefly addressed the student body, giving out the daily announcements. He gave updates about prom, theater auditions and the daily reminder to students that they cannot throw empty cans down the hallway and yell YEET anymore, people were getting hurt. Finally, Principal McShane stepped off the stage and introduced Lil Xan. Lily was on the edge of her seat, waiting for the first glimpse, and she squealed when he stepped on stage.

I was honestly shocked. I could see what Kat was saying, he looked really, really young. His hair was cut in 2005 skater-boy style with a beanie pulled over the top. He had the look of someone who had had his wisdom teeth out and the anesthesia never wore off. But he had tattoos on his face? I leaned over to Lily and whispered, “Wait, how old is this guy?” 

“He’s 21!” She gushed. I was shocked. How could he be 21? Lil Xan stepped up to the mic and smiled wide.

“Sup everyone.” All the girls in the audience screamed. He chuckled and adjusted his beanie. “It’s so nice of you to have me here, thank you so much y’all. Let me tell you my story. I started skipping class in 6th grade….” Lil Xan went off, talking about his life. I tuned out and took out my phone, scrolling through twitter. 

“Ms. Quinlan!” I looked up to see Stu, the class president, staring at me. “No phones!” he hissed. I guess the student gov. was patrolling the assembly. I gave him a sickly sweet smile, blew him a kiss and put my phone away.

“I got off xans… blah blah blah…drugs...blah...my camera stolen…” Lil Xan had such a nice voice, it was so raspy and soothing. I closed my eyes and just let the words flow over me. I guess I drifted off because all of a sudden applause erupted around me. I whipped my eyes open and realized that Lil Xan was done speaking and I had slept through the whole thing. 

“Thank you so much. Does anyone have any questions?”

It was so hot in the gym and I was so groggy that I knew I needed to get out of that room to wake myself up. I went to stand up and heard a hiss. Stu was looking at me down the row with a death stare. 

“Stu, listen, I just need to go to the bathroom”

He glared. “It’s almost over, you can wait five minutes,” he whispered back.

No way was I going to let Stu control me like that. I shot my hand up in the air. Lil Xan looked down at me, startled by my sudden enthusiasm and locked eyes with me. “You, in the front.” He said pointing at me.

I smiled sweetly and said “May I use the bathroom?” I heard Stu gasp, and I turned my smile to him and gave him a quick wink. 

Lil Xan rubbed the back of his head. “Um” he looked towards the teachers and Principal McShane just shrugged and nodded. “I guess so,” he said laughing slightly. I quickly run out the gym.

Leaning up against the wall inside the girls bathroom, I pulled out my phone to check twitter. There was nothing but tweets from the kids at school about Lil Xan. I was already sick of hearing about him. I switched over to candy crush. I could hear footsteps moving in the distance; I guess the assembly had ended. I knew I only had a few more minutes until class started, but I was so so close to finishing this level.

With a bang, the door burst open and before I could move a hot breath whispered in my ear, “Where you goin’ smellin' so nice”

I gasped and dropped my phone, quickly looking up. I recognized the dark hair and blue eyes belonging to the mans in front of me. 

“Joe Mazza,” I whispered. 

Of course it was Joe Mazza. We had met at summer camp two years ago, but never really spoke once we got to school. We met up again at a party last year. We got to talking, but the night ended with him attempting to assault me in the upstairs bedroom. I screamed for help, and thank god Lily had heard me over the music. She called the cops, and they encouraged me to press charges against him. But of course, his daddy’s lawyer has the system in the palm of his hand and got Joe out with only a slap on the wrist. However I heard a rumor that he had a tennis scholarship rescinded from Fordham because of the allegations against him. Now, he was mad. 

“You’re gonna pay, Sam.” He grabbed my arm and squeezed tight. My heart was beating faster and faster and I was having trouble breathing.

I screwed up my courage and yelled through gritted teeth, “Fuck you Joe. You deserved what you got, you slime. You’re nothing dirty Bronx scum water.” I spit on his timb and looked him defiantly in the eye. His eyebrows narrowed and he growled. Joe slammed me against the wall so hard that I saw stars. I screamed in pain as he tightened his grip on my arm.

“Fuck you, goth shorty.” He reached his hand back and I braced myself for the punch. Distantly, I heard the door open. I open my eyes and saw Lil Xan standing in the doorway, taking in the scene. 

“I heard a scream,” he said, voice low and threatening. “Y’all taking care of some...business?” He took a step forward and put his hand on Joe’s arm. “Bruh, you need to chill. You step away from her right now, or I WILL throw hands.” 

“Mind your own fucking business bro.” Joe hissed back. Lil Xan took his hand off Joe and backed up, hands in the air. Joe gave a satisfied nod and turned back to me. I couldn’t help the little whimper that escaped my throat. Was Lil Xan really going to let Joe beat me up? I could see Lil Xan looking at me, taking in the tears in my eyes. He winked at me over Joe’s shoulder and shifted his weight. All of a sudden Lil Xan wound up and roundhouse kicked Joe in the side. As he bent over, Lil Xan uppercut and clocked him to the peen. Joe slumped to the floor, and Lil Xan grabbed my arm to pull me away. “Are you okay?” He asked me, concern evident in his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” I whispered, looking fearfully down at Joe on the ground. Lil Xan saw me look at Joe and kicked him once more. “For good measure,” he said to me. “He deserves it.” He grabbed my phone off the floor and led me out of the bathroom and down the hall. I tried to take my hand out of his grip but he was too strong. 

“Listen, Little man, or whatever your name is, thank you for saving me and everything, but what the hell do you think you’re doing. I need to go to the nurse and get back to class.”

Lil Xan stopped and turned to me. “You can call me Diego,” he said, “and I’m getting you out of here and away from that creep.”

“I can't just skip class!” I protested.

He smirked at me. “With Lil Xan,” he said, “you can do anything.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy this binches, mery chrysler, and happy chinme

Lil Xan (or I guess Diego) continued to pull me along behind him until we reached the back of the school. 

I tried again to stop him. “I’m not kidding Diego, this isn’t funny. What makes you think I want to go with you?”

He stopped short, and looked at me. His eyes had turned dark, and the emotions that ran through his eyes were unreadable. But as soon as I saw them, they were gone, and a smirk graced his face once more. 

“So you’re telling me you wanna be in some dumb ass class, learning useless shit? I dropped out of high school in 9th grade, and look where I am. I’m doing fine for myself” 

I tried one more time to break his grasp and this time it worked. As soon as he let go, I took a hasty step away and stared him down. “Listen, buddy. My head hurts, my arm hurts, and I’m sure as hell not going to let some other creep kidnap me. Do you even know my name? I don’t think so. I need some ice and some medicine Right. Now. And frankly, I’m not interested in being around some washed up, high school dropout, wanna be rapper who’s ruined themselves with drugs.” 

As soon as the words left my mouth, I wish I could take them back. I had never seen someone look so broken. Diego’s face was…defeated. Some part of me wanted to reach out and hold him until I erased that look on his face. 

Diego looked down at his hand and seemed to realize that he was still holding my phone. He held it out to me, shoulders sagging. I hesitantly reached for my phone, and when my hand made contact with his, my heart jumped. I looked into his eyes and held my breath. “Sam,” I said softly. He raised his eyebrow. “My name. It’s Sam.” He half-heartedly smiled at me and I blurted out, “and I’m sorry.”

His eyebrows flew up, and a shocked look replaced his sad one. I plowed forward, “I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t mean it. That was awful of me to say. I’m still worked up from before.”

He took a step towards me, his hands up, “No, please, I shouldn’t have just grabbed you without thinking. That was insensitive of me. But you do need to get away from that asshole, and you need to get some ice on your head.”

“What’s wrong with the school nurse?” I asked cautiously. 

“Nothing,” Diego smirked, “maybe I just want an excuse to spend time alone with a baddie like you.” And just like that, the cocky Lil Xan was back. It was almost as if his moment of vulnerability had never happened. I felt like I was getting whiplash from the change. I opened my mouth to say something when I heard Principal McShane’s voice drift down the hallway.

“And of course we’ll have to punish whoever it was that threw clementines during the assembly, it was so disrespectful…”

I turned to face Diego and saw him with his hand outstretched towards me, a huge grin on his face. “What do you say?” 

I thought about the implications of both courses. On one hand, I could stay here in school. As soon as Principal McShane came around the corner, I would get in trouble for not being in class first and foremost; then, I would be sent to the nurse. I’d have to tell the nurse what had happened, and even if I lied, it would be futile. Joe would also go to the nurse, he would have to after what Diego did to him. And knowing our history, anybody could put two and two together and figure out what had happened. All I knew is that I was not ready to deal with this right now. 

On the other hand, I could walk out this door right now with the guy who saved me and forget my problems. Before I even realized it I was walking out the door and into the sun.

Diego jogged up next to me and directed me to the car waiting right outside the door. Diego opened the door for me and I climbed inside. I sat in silence as we drove out of the parking lot, lost in thought. 

I wasn’t sure what was going to happen with Joe. He was obviously beat up. I worried: would he tell the nurse what happened? Probably not. He’s too egotistical to let anyone know who he had been beaten by. But what if he did? I would get dragged back to court, as well as Diego, who would most likely get charged with some form of battery and assault. At the very least I would have to tell someone where I was, so no one would worry when I didn’t come back to school. I definitely could not tell my mom; she would freak out, especially if I told her what had happened with Joe. I would be taken out of school permanently, and she would want me to reopen my case against Joe. I couldn’t have that. But, I could call Will. He would be mad, but he wouldn’t say anything I didn’t want him to.

I tried to call my brother, but it went straight to voicemail. I decided to shoot him a text instead: 

Me: Hey, I left school, got in a little bit of trouble. I’ll call you when I can.

I looked back out the window and saw trees moving fast past the car, thicker (thiccer) than I was used to. I realized I had no idea where we were going.

“Wait,” I said. “Where are you taking me?” 

“Just to my place,” Diego replied, smiling crookedly at me.

“Wait… why do you have a house on Long Island? I thought you were from California.”

Diego paused. “It’s… kind of a go-between house. My manager’s idea. It’s a place I can go to get away from everything for a while.” I nodded slowly, and turned to look back out the window just in time to see the car turn down a long driveway, disappearing into the woods. We traveled down this road for what seemed like miles, until suddenly the dense trees opened up in front of the car to reveal a sprawling lawn, with a huge house perched upon the pristine grass. 

“Holy shit,” I whispered walking up to the front door. Diego led me inside, to a modern kitchen with huge, industrial sized appliances gleaming from every side. They were beautiful, and new, yet almost… cold.

“These are amazing,” I whispered, looking around me, “but…they look like they’ve never been used.” 

Diego chuckled and opened the gigantic freezer door. There was nothing inside, only the ice box, which he took out and placed on the counter. “Yeah, I don’t cook much.” He said. He started packing the ice into a plastic bag, and handed it to me. “For your head.” 

“Thanks,” I said as I took the bag, hesitantly smiling at him. I was so confused by everything about him. I tried to put the ice to my head, but it was in an awkward place where I couldn’t reach. “I hate to ask, but could you…?” I offered the bag to him. 

“Oh, sure.” Diego hastily grabbed the bag and reached around my head. He gently pressed the ice against my bump, but in doing so he got extremely close to me. I could smell his cologne, and it made my head spin. I exhaled nervously. 

“DIEGO!” In the deep recesses of the house, a door slammed shut. Diego jumped back from me and immediately looked panicked. 

“You need to hide upstairs, now.” He hissed. 

“Wha--” I started, but he put his hand over my mouth and put a finger to his lips.

“What’s up?” Diego called out to the disembodied voice. 

“Where are you? We need to talk about what happened today at Balesdnay High. You were supposed to do a meet and greet with the members of the student government, but you decided to up and vanish before you could!” The voice, which I now understood to be male, sounded closer and closer with every word. Diego looked at me and gestured with his head to the back door of the kitchen. He let go and I scuttled over to the doorway where a set of stairs disappeared upwards into the house. He motioned for me to keep going and we ran up the stairs as quietly as possible, while the man continued to call after us.

“...completely irresponsible, are you trying to sabotage our plans…”

Diego opened the door at the end of the hall, and ushered me in. “Wait right here, I’ll be back. Just keep quiet.” 

He handed me the ice bag, rushed back out and slammed the door behind him. I turned and looked around to see that I was in a bedroom. A huge bed sat in the middle room, and standard bedroom furniture lined the walls. But it had no personality, and it was extremely clean. It must be a guest room. 

All of a sudden my head started spinning so violently that I had to grab the doorframe to keep upright. My head pounded and I felt nauseous.

Fuck. Maybe it wasn’t the proximity from earlier, but actually something seriously wrong that happened when I hit my head. I moved slowly towards the bed, head still aching. I lay down with my head on top of the ice pack, and took out my phone.

_________________________________________________________________________

DIEGO’S POV

I shut the door behind me and whipped back downstairs, where Garrett (my manager) was waiting for me. 

“Sorry, I was just putting something in my room,” I said. Not a total lie.

Garrett looked at me with squinted eyes, definitely suspecting something. “What happened today?” He finally asked. “You completely disappeared after you got off stage.”

I rubbed the back of my head. How much should I tell him? But I couldn’t lie; he was one of my oldest friends, and he had done so much for me.

“I sort of got into a fight with a loser at the school.”

Garrett just stared at me, one eyebrow raised. “You’re joking.” 

I shrugged my shoulders and he groaned. 

“You can’t be serious Diego, really! You’re supposed to be staying lowkey!” 

“I couldn’t just stand by! Sam was being attacked and I--” 

Garrett raised his hands. “Wait, wait, who’s Sam?” 

“This baddie I met at the school. She was being attacked by this Joe guy, and I couldn’t not do anything. So I beat him up, and took her out of there.”

“What do you mean, ‘took her out of there’? Where is she now?”

At this I paused. I didn’t want to lie to Garrett, but what would he do to Sam? I know I was supposed to stay under the radar for a while and stick to the plan, but I couldn’t help myself when I saw her. Obviously I did the human thing and saved her from that dirty peen, but I couldn’t let her go after that. Something about her made me want to hide her away from the world. I knew Garrett would just make me bring her home, and never see her again, for my safety and hers. But I didn’t want to lose her yet. 

So I lied to Garrett for the first time in my life.

“I took her home. She needed to lie down.” I cast my thoughts upstairs to Sam, and hoped Garrett couldn’t read my lie on my face.

Garrett nodded and sighed. He scratched his scruff as he thought. “Okay. I’m sorry. You know I’m not trying to be a jerk. But you really need to be careful; it’s for your own good.”

“I know man.” 

Garrett backed up. “I’m going to do some damage control at Balesdnay High. I think it would be better if you stayed here and cooled off for a bit.” 

“Okay, whatever,” I mumbled. Garrett looked at me out of the corner of his eye as he left the room. Tension I didn’t even know I had released as soon as I heard the door slam shut behind him. 

What was going on with me?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you dedicated fans for the wonderful art work:3 All fanart submissions welcome !  
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/146346584@N06/38565758515/in/dateposted-public/)  
> 

I was laying on the bed with my eyes closed when I heard the door open slowly. I cracked one eye open to see Diego leaning against the doorframe, staring at me.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, concern saturating his voice.

“I’m afraid to get up,” I replied softly, “I can’t stand without getting dizzy.” Diego moved quickly over to the bed and looked at me with worry.

“Let me see the back of your head,” He said. I rolled onto my side and moved the bag of ice out of the way. I felt the bed dip as he climbed on, and then his fingers gently moving my hair away from where it was hit. I held my breath as he ran his fingers through my hair and over the back of my head. “There is a huge lump here. I think you need to get this checked out.” He paused and then said with emotion leaking into his voice, “I’m so sorry this happened Sam.”

I rolled back over to look at him. He was closer than I thought he was; he was kneeling on the bed immediately next to me, concern twisting his eyebrows together. Before I could stop it, my hand reached up and I ran my thumb over the lines in his face where upset wrinkled his features.

“Don’t worry about me,” I said gently, “You’ve already done so much to help me.”

“I just wish I had been there earlier.” He moved closer to me until suddenly his face was an inch away from mine. I looked deep into his soft brown eyes and looked at the emotions swirling underneath. I couldn’t read them. I held my breath and let my eyes flutter shut when all of a sudden my phone started vibrating, loud and abrasive. My eyes flew open. Diego pulled away and rolled off the bed. I looked at my phone and saw Will’s contact up on the screen, so I quickly rose the phone to my ear.

“Hey.”

_“Sam? What’s going on?”_

“Joe Mazza attacked me in the school bathroom.”

 _“WHAT?!”_ Will’s voice screeched through the phone. _“Oh my god, Sam are you alright?”_

“I’m not sure. I hit my head pretty hard against the wall and I can’t stand up without feeling dizzy. I feel booled right now”

 _“I’m going to_ kill _that bastard. Where are you right now?”_ I paused and looked over to Diego, who was leaning against the wall. He wasn't looking at me, inspecting his hands, but I could tell he was listening to my side of the conversation. I wasn’t sure how Will would react to Diego, or the situation.

I hesitated before saying vaguely, “…A friend’s house.”

_“Excuse me? Why would you leave school? You should’ve gone to the nurse! Or even the hospital!”_

I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead. “Will—"

_“_ _Who even are you with? Why aren’t they trying to help you?”_

“They are—“

 _“I’m coming to get you._ ”

I sat up at his words, but I moved to fast. My vision blurred and I dropped the phone on the bedspread. Diego rushed over to me and grabbed my wrist.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he said. “Be careful, don’t move too fast.” He rubbed his hand up and down my arm, comforting me until my vision cleared. I heard Will’s voice coming through the phone, sounding frantic. Diego picked up the phone and put his ear to it. I tried to grab it from his hands but he moved out of my reach.

“Uh…Will?” Diego said. I could only imagine what Will was saying based on the face Diego made. “Yeah bro, she— no, no I’m not— okay I get that, but she's not really doing so great over here.” He locked eyes with me. “She keeps getting dizzy…no of course…I’m sorry yeah she’s right here.” He quickly handed the phone back to me.

 _“Really Sam? You left school with a GUY?”_ Will was starting to get angry now. “ _Give me the address right now.”_ As soon as I rattled off the address he hung up.

I turned to Diego, fuming. “Why would you pick up the phone?”

“What’s it matter?” He said, helping me up. “Why is he so weird about you being here?”

I huffed. “He’s just protective. He’s nervous when I get around guys since—” I stopped short and shut my mouth.

“Since…?” Diego prompted, but I refused to relent. I didn’t feel like explaining my situation to a guy I just met. We walked slowly down the stairs and back through the kitchen. As soon as we made it to the front hall I heard a knock on the door. I moved to it before Diego could and opened it to Will standing immediately outside on the stoop.

“What the hell? Whose house is this?” Will said. Concern, anger, and suspicion battled on his face as he took in the huge house I was standing in. He tried to look behind me but I obscured his view by shifting over.

“It’s mine,” Diego interjected as he sidled up next to me in the doorway, completely undermining my attempts to hide him. “Sup bro.” Will’s eyebrows rose in shock as he took in Diego’s appearance. Meanwhile Diego leant against the left side of my body and his hand drifted to my jacket pocket. I tried to move away, but he shoved something in my pocket before I could. I sent him a warning glare and stepped outside, away from him.

“Let’s go. I feel like I’m gonna pass out,” I said to Will. He dragged his glare away from Diego and grabbed my arm. I didn’t look back, but I could feel the heat of Diego’s eyes on my back.

As we drove, Will started rambling angrily. “I can’t believe that scumbag. Does he think he can get away with hurting you without answering for it? I swear to god I will murder him. I. Will. _Murder_. Him.”

“Will, I’m sorry, but can we not talk about Joe right now?”

Will paused in his rant, took in my exhausted face, and shot me a worried look. “I’m taking you to the doctor right now, okay? No arguments.”

I nodded as he continued. “I still don’t understand why you aren’t in school. Why the hell would you leave?”

“I didn’t want to have to explain myself to anyone.”

Will huffed and turned on his blinker. “And who even is that guy. He looks like a crackhead. Did you see those tattoos on his face?”

“Yes, I saw them. I’m not blind. And he’s a rapper. Lil Xan? He came to the school today to speak about anti-drug abuse. I left the assembly and I got attacked in the bathroom—,” I stopped for a second and closed my eyes. Will rubbed my arm reassuringly and I took a deep breath before continuing, “and Lil Xan came in and pulled Joe off me. He beat him up and took me out of there. He was only trying to help. And he gave me ice for my head.”

Will was silent for a few moments and I thought the conversation was over when he said, “I don’t want you to see him again.”

“What? Why?”

“He should have done the responsible thing and taken you to get checked out, not lure you back to his house. Who knows what he was really thinking? And you’re equally as irresponsible. Why would you go to some guy’s house _alone?_ How stupid can you be? I figured you would’ve learned your lesson.”

That hit me like a slap. I couldn’t believe he would say something that cruel. I stared at him with tears threatening to fall. Will looked at me and knew he had made a mistake. “Sam—“

“Don’t.” I turned to face the window and we drove the rest of the way in silence.

___________________________________________________

The doctor cleared me and said all I needed was rest. Will tried to apologize when he dropped me at home, but I ignored him and slammed my door shut behind me. I watched him pull out of the driveway and head back to work. As much as it hurt, what Will said was right. How could I have been so dumb? I already made this mistake once. I can’t believe I let Lil Xan sweet talk me into going back to his house _alone_. I knew absolutely nothing about him, besides that he was famous. I was so blinded by his heroics in the bathroom that I ignored all common sense. He could’ve just been saving me for himself, with no altruistic goals in mind. I was disgusted with myself. How did I keep letting myself get caught up in these situations?

And it’s not like these assholes will ever learn their lesson either. I couldn’t go back to court to see Joe’s smug face staring at me over the witness stand. And he would never be held accountable either. Nobody takes the victim’s words at face value. I wasn’t believed, plain and simple. My own body was violated and no one wanted to listen. I couldn’t put myself through that humiliation again. Because it was. It was humiliating to put myself out there.

I threw myself down on the bed and felt something crinkle in my pocket. I reached in and pulled out a piece of paper.

_Don’t think I’d let you go so easily ;)_

_203-822-8678_

I crumpled up the piece of paper and chucked it across the room. I rolled over and fell into a troubled sleep.

___________________________________________________

I woke up to the sound of my door opening. I rolled over and saw my dad standing in the doorway.

“Samantha! You’re room is deesgusteeng. Who ARE you? You need to clean this right now.” My dad, Baptiste, stood in the doorway with his hands on his hips, looking down over his glasses at the mess in my room.

I sat up and looked around. My room was a little dirty. I do not like cleaning, but I was happy he was treating me like a human, not like I could break at any moment, like Will had been.

“Ok Daddy,” I acknowledged. He smiled softly at me, came over and sat next to me on the edge of my bed. I leaned into his shoulder and he rubbed my arm. I knew without words that he knew what had happened, but he knew me and knew I wouldn’t want to talk about it. Baptiste kissed me on the head and sat with me for a few minutes in silence.

Baptiste wasn’t my biological father. My mother and father had split when I was too young to remember, and Baptiste came into our lives soon after. He was my stepdad, but he was the only father I had ever known. Baptiste had raised me like his own. I’ve never had a relationship with my other father. For all intents and purposes, Baptiste _was_ my father.

“You know I love you,” He said finally, “and I hate to see my baby girl hurt.”

“I know Daddy.” Even though I was 17, when Baptiste held me I felt like I was 5 all over again. He kissed me again and stood up. “You do need to clean this room, Samantha. You don’t want your mother seeing this.”

I nodded again and he turned around before leaving the room. He raised his fingers to his eyes and pinched his eyelids closed twice. “Bap bap.”

“Bap bap.” I replied softly, making the motions back to him. It was our little good night ritual we’ve always done since I was a little girl. He closed the door with a soft click and I heard his footsteps receding down the hallway.

All of a sudden I heard a soft tap at the window. I looked over in time to see a little pebble tap the glass. I walked over to the window and cautiously looked down. Another pebble hit the frame. I slid the bottom window pane upwards.

“What are you doing here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg ! who it be ! leave guesses belowe
> 
>  
> 
> EDIT: My favorite comment so far:
> 
> bap bap on Chapter 3 Tue 02 Jan 2018 01:40AM EST:  
> who could it be? JOE MAZZA back for more? a confused dominos pizza delivery man? one of the cartoon birds from the Pixar movie "Rio" (2011)? we will find out in chapter 4!


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